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My Life and some Excuses

I write this Blog because I felt in fairness to all the viewers of the show “Amish: Out of Order” who wish to have more interaction with the rest of the cast of this show and myself, you should know why you may have repeatedly tried to contact me or them and gotten no response.

Speaking for the rest of the cast in general, it was extremely difficult to get them on board to do any filming simply because every Amish or ex Amish I know, loves their privacy. Try and take someone who has no desire to be in the spotlight, be famous, or socialize with people outside of their circle, and then try to take this person and convince them to participate in a TV show for the world to see.

That alone is a huge undertaking! Then take this person after the show is over, and expect them to open their life’s to all the people who seen it and were touched by it, probably just won’t happen. It should not be too hard to understand that the cast has a right to their privacy.

Speaking for myself, after doing “Amish in the City” back in 2004 1 1/2 yrs after leaving the Amish, I was that guy. The guy who had no internet, no Facebook profile, no email, etc. Therefore I was never contacted by anyone. Seldom was I even recognized in the streets or at the County fair. This was exactly how I wanted it, and looking back, I would not have been able at that time to handle the publicity.

It goes without saying that since then, I have become more open minded and social to the public, but I will never in my life get to a point where I am comfortable embracing publicity or fame.

When you see the films I have been involved with, if you see me speaking in a sincere tone of voice, and you hear something you can relate to, that touches you, or you even convince yourself that if we have tons in common, and that if we only met, we could be lifelong friends, I want to tell you how I think that happened.

 

 

                                                    My fried brain turning to Mush

In order for myself to open myself up that broadly on TV, this is the only way I could do it. I have to get on a complete and personal comfort level with each and every camera man, sound guy, and producer person. The person that I am talking to next to the camera, knows every stitch of my life, has met my family, and I know a lot about him. Only then can I sit there and open up to that person asking me questions, and I can speak freely. Understand this. If there is a stranger standing in the background staring, (if you notice, there were never any scenes where I was talking in public with many people walking around) I am useless. If they bring in a new sound guy, a new face powder girl, or even a new run person (the person who gets batteries when the mic runs out) I am useless. Before I can freely open up and talk or do anything, I have to go over, introduce myself, and get on a personal comfort level with that person. I can’t explain this very well. Part of the reason may be that all my life I have been harshly judged for everything I have done, and I have not only quit trying to associate with these people, I have completely cut them out of my life. I have not given up, I am just at a point in my life where I have absolutely no patience with someone judging me or trying to monitor or control my life.

So when I am speaking sincerely to you across the screen, It was actually that I was, at the time this was filmed, having a passionate conversation with the person who had asked me a question that I was passionate about. I in return was answering this question in a passionate manner to the person beside the camera. The person who had managed to somehow become someone I trust with my complicated life. The person who I now consider a close enough friend that I can share anything with.

Knowing this, it only goes without saying, that I was often taken aback a little when I was sitting watching the show come across the TV, and heard myself saying something, and shuddered at how I was able to say something that personal for the world to hear.

Another reason is that, contrary to popular belief, I make friends very slowly. I by default, will err on the side of not letting my wall down for some time after I first meet someone. I will even come across as rude and self centered to many who don’t know me well. However, once we become friends, if we become friends, this is a friendship that usually lasts and I will go a long way to maintain it. I can’t explain this. I can’t even make an excuse that it has to do with my upbringing or that it is an event or events from my childhood that shaped me that way. Let’s just say that I have actually come a long way in life in this regard, but it is a working progress, and we can leave it at that. However, if you ever barge into my office at work expecting a huge, warm hug, because you have envisioned me as being a person who welcomes any stranger into my life, or if you meet me on the street, at the fair, or any other place we may meet, please don’t take to seriously if I may seem distant or even cold. In all reality, it probably would be no different then if you were sitting in the privacy of your front lawn, and perfect strangers kept stopping, running over, and shoving pieces of paper in your face to sign, smiling, touching you, and expecting you, who are just wanting to spend this day privately with the family in your home, to understand and bond instantly with them, because they saw you on TV and they felt like you have things in common.

I did not ever hope to write this Blog, but write it I will, and over the next few paragraphs, I will make it clear why I’m writing it.

I have several idols in the TV world who I would love to meet. There have been times in my life where I would have driven to any corner of the earth just to meet them and talk to them, have my picture taken, and get an autograph from them. It never registered in my mind that they probably have a very busy life already and that there probably is nothing about me that separates me apart from the previous million people who came to seek them out. Apparently this is the cost price you pay for being in the spotlight. Although I am not and hopefully never will be someone’s idol, I do receive a lot of fan mail, emails, phone calls, and even people coming into my office unannounced at my work just to meet me. People who drove from every corner of the United States. This should be flattering to me.

However, knowing what you know now after reading my social skills above, it is anything but flattering.

I will take this opportunity to say that I appreciate the fact that my mission was accomplished in “Amish: out of Order” of doing a show that is different from anything else. My mission was accomplished in doing an inspirational film instead of the normal controversial show with a lot of quarreling, sex, cheating, and the usual stuff you see on TV.

I do appreciate each and every one of you that viewed it and helped make it a success. In a perfect world, I would meet up and take each and every one of you out to lunch or dinner, and we would become those lifelong friends like I spoke about earlier. As a matter of fact, I would much enjoy doing that.

However, it is not a perfect world. I am not a rich celebrity who sits at home all day trying to figure out what I can do to pass the time. And this is the part where I get to the reason why I can’t get to all the people who have tried to contact me. In my inbox, tied in with my personal website, www.amishinthecitymose.com. I have over 50,000 emails of which I’ve had a chance to read maybe 300. On my facebook that has been max ed out with 5000 friends, there is no way to get a count that I know of, but I speculate there are probably close to that many on there as well. This is awesome! Again, in a perfect world, I would be sitting patiently at home with nothing to do, answering each and every message with the utmost care. I would have by now been involved and started 300 ministries, be attending 2000 churches with probably that many different religious beliefs.

The reality is, documentaries as a rule, don’t pay much money. I could have made as much or more money had I stayed back at the car dealership instead of doing the film. I chose to do the film for anything but money. (If you read some of my earlier blogs, you will see why I chose to do the show). The reality is, I am a husband, father of 3, with a large mortgage, 2 vehicle payments, daycare for 2 little girls, and every bill any normal person in this country filled with debt has. I literally have to work on my day off, which is on Tuesday, just to have enough money at the end of each month to pay my bills. From the time I leave my house at 6:45 am til I get back home (on an average 9:15 pm, which is, doing accurate math, 14.5 hrs a day) I am running 100 miles an hr at one of the largest car dealerships in the mid western states at Joe Machens Toyota in Columbia.

Make no mistake, I am a workaholic. I could just Mosey along and be an average sales person. However, not only did I learn how to work until I drop from fatigue a young age, again, I am also motivated by trying to make enough money to keep food on the table for my kids. I am proud to say that in this very large dealership, I am one of the very top sales people. The very concept that I could at this stage in my families life, quit my job, even for a few days, to get into ministry, pastoring, counseling centers, etc, is absurd. If I quit the dealership for 2 weeks, I would be broke and living in an apartment in 2 months.

This is not an Blog asking for sympathy or money. I have the life I want, and I am happy with it. I just want you as a viewer of the show, to be aware of why I can’t do all these impossible things that GOD SO CLEARLY CALLED ME TO DO..

Knowing now that I work an average of 14.5 hrs a day, 6 days a week, where I do not have access to be on facebook or checking my emails constantly, does it make some form of sense that when I get home from work, completely exhausted mentally from work, that I only ask to spend that precious little time with my family before they go to bed.

                 Me and my Family

 

The last thing I wish to do after they are in bed, for that hf hr or so before my eyelids close, is to start calling or emailing people back. On Sunday, that one day of rest, that I refuse to work, Is my 1 day of the week, where I can hang with the family all day. This day has become GOLD precious.

I want to explain why I even have a web site, facebook, and other contact methods.

I began these means of contact because I do like to interact to a certain degree with people. I do like to blog, and hear the feedback from readers. I do like to know that something I did or said or wrote somewhere, made a difference in someone’s life. This is the fulfilling part of my life. I do wish to make a difference. I do want to make the world a better place. And last of all, I want to have a way for people contact me that I was never able to get with Garth Brooks and Brett Favre. However, I am a little outnumbered here. It is probably easy for you as the reader to send an email, letter, or phone call, take 10 to 15 minutes of your life to do so, and expect me to return the courtesy. Now however, take that 10 minutes and multiply it by 100,000. That is my side of the story.

Again, I enjoy the feedback very much, and please don’t quit posting and sending it. The reason I am writing this Blog against all my better instincts is this. This Blog is not written for the casual viewer who watched the show and wished to send me an email telling me he or she enjoyed the show. This is not written for the people who send me facebook requests. It is not written for those who subscribe to my website and send me an email or two.

This Blog is written for those of you who have sent me multiple emails, called my place of work numerous times, and I’ve never been able to get back to you. This is written for those who feel sure that God himself came to them and told them to come seek me out personally and have me take time off from work to start a ministry with them. God spoke to them and told them to come sit down with me and help me with all these questions I may have in my life that no one else has the answer to but them personally. This is to those people who have become so frustrated with me that I have been unable to take the time out of my day to call and speak with each of them individually, that I have received threats to myself and my family from anything ranging to coming to our house, to God striking me with lightening for not listening to them and the calling God has so clearly given them the controls to help me start, to actual death threats for how I could be so very rude and self centered as to never return an email after they so clearly found that one person who can come to them and help them change their life.

This Blog is for the Man currently sitting in a hotel room in Columbia, Mo, who drove here from Somewhere in South Dakota, because God came to him in a vision and told him to come talk to me. Yes, the man who has been sitting there at that same hotel for 2 weeks waiting for my heart to open, so he can come back here to the dealership and fulfill the mission God sent him here to complete. Only after 3 visits and a mention of taking necessary legal action, did he quit coming in every day with boxes of DVD’s and books that he had bought for me to read to help change my life. How long he will sit over there waiting, I am not sure, but who am I to run him back to South Dakota? Let him enjoy the beautiful city of Columbia. Population around 110,000.

This is for the woman in Tennessee who lost the custody battle with her children, the law has her in a Mental center, and the fact that I won’t personally come to TN and testify on her behalf when God has clearly called me to do so, will be a reason for me and my family to watch our backs when she gets out of that place.

This is for the suicidal man in KY who somehow found my home phone, (which has since become restricted) and called it over 50 times trying to manipulate me to let him move in with us so I can spend my spare time helping him change his life around, and eventually help him convert to the Amish faith. The same person who, after the 5th call, when I put a restraining order against him, he promised me one of 2 things would happen. Option 1. He would either come hunt down me and my family and “eliminate” us all, (because back in the bible if someone disobeyed God’s commands, they were stoned to death) to option 2, he would commit suicide. Hmmmm. Me and my family, or him? Hmmm. Tough choice.

If you detect just a hint of sarcasm, burnt outness, or stressed outness, it is because I feel overwhelmed with people who feel like I owe them a piece of myself. Whether it is my time, money, home, help mentally, church, or whatever it may be, when in all reality, I agreed to do a TV show. I chose to have several public sites where people can send me feedback, and I made the mistake of giving people a place where I work. I am just after all an average JOE who lives in good ole Mid Missouri who is not any more special then any of the other people around him. The difference being that I agreed to put my personal life and my families out there for viewers to see.

Again, for the normal person who viewed the show and was touched by it. I hope in due time, to answer each and all emails. At the pace I am going, it may take 30 yrs, but I am patient. In the meantime, I will continue to work long hrs, value quality family time, and hopefully this blog will answer some questions to people who wonder why I left them hanging.

I will also in this Blog try and answer some of the most frequently asked questions that people have for me.

1. Will there be another season of Amish: out of Order?
Probably not. Although there are many reasons that factor into this decision, I have my personal reasons for saying probably not. Without bringing any attention to myself, I don’t think that they can successfully do another season without me. The reason I say that isn’t because I think that my on screen appearance is great. It is because my assistance behind the scenes on getting others on board and keeping them on board is a big deal.

So this is the part where I explain why I probably am not interested in doing another season. I did the first season for a greater good. Again, read some of my earlier Blogs, and you’ll see why. I feel like in the first season, I covered what I wanted to cover. I said what I had to say. The show did what I wanted it to do. For me to do another season, what could I do that hasn’t already been done. I can’t take another spiritual journey in my life. What could I do that would be a greater good that I haven’t already done.

Also, I would have to quit my normal job that is currently paying my bills. The reason being that there is not enough here in good old Columbia, Mo to put together anther whole season. I would have to travel abroad to put the next season together. I have been looking for a job like this ever since I left the Amish. I am fiercely loyal to this job, my fellow employees and managers, and last of all, to my customer base I have worked so very hard to build. If I were to quit the dealership for even 6 months, I would lose that customer base, and if I were forced to go back to the dealership, I would have to start all over at the bottom once again.

And let’s face it. I didn’t have a family life for over a year while we were filming. For anyone who sits and sees the finished product come across the screen and has a revelation that it would be easy to do what I did, let me explain in a brief detail what level of commitment it actually takes.

Once I finally, after 2 yrs of saying “no”, agreed to say “yes” to this project, this is how my schedule became. From 6:30 am to 7:00 PM I worked at the dealership 6 days a week. from the time I got off work, (usually with my brain completely fried) We filmed until midnight. Many times I sat up until 2 am brain storming ideas for the film crew to be filming the next day while I was at work.

We discovered early on that I can’t do interviews or scenes at my house because the kids will keep running over to crawl up on my lap, so we kept having to rent houses etc where we could film in private. Many many times the footage would get back to the office, and we would get the feedback that I didn’t look refreshed enough to use it, and that we had to re-do the whole scene again.

And then there was football. That one time of the year where I can engulf myself into something so completely that I get lost for those 5 or 6 months. I truly have recorded every Green Bay Packer game ever since I left the Amish in 2002. In the summer when there is no football, I will pull out the old games and re watch them. I hadn’t ever missed even 1 game in 9 yrs. Needless to say, that changed during the filming of this show. It might go without saying that each and every Sunday was loaded to the hilt with filming. My fantasy football leagues suffered. While we were sitting upstairs trying to film a bible study at our house on a fall afternoon, the New York Giants were battling the Packers downstairs on my big screen TV. Oh, but wait a minute, I didn’t know until about midnight that night that it was only by the strong leg of Mason Crosby as time expired that we pulled out that win to remain undefeated.

Wisconsin. 2006. Home of the Green Bay Packers. Time to go to a game again.

 

And finally, my family. If any of you have children, you will know exactly what I am talking about. Try being that guy that works 6 days a week and by the time I got home each night the kids had long been tucked in bed. I was gone the next morning for work before they were up. On Sunday morning, that one day when I sometimes rose a little later, try to get ready for a day of filming, have the kids crawling all over you, and then walk out the front door trying to erase their looks of disappointment or tears running down their faces from your memory while you grind out another day of filming.

And then there is the wife. Enough said, I am proud to say that she was my rock throughout this process. It truly takes a strong woman to raise 3 children on her own for over a year while her man is gallivanting all over the place filming a project which may or may not even make it on screen.

When I hear people criticize the show, something I said, or in any way belittle the show, I take no offense to it at all. I just sit back, relax, and realize that, in all fairness, I was that person before I got on the other side of the camera.

However, the biggest reason for my doubtfulness for another season is not the hard work. It is the fact that there is more involved then just sitting in front of a camera and opening up yourself and your personal life for a few days. The biggest reason is that a new season would entail many changes in my and my family’s life. Changes that I am not at this point in my life comfortable making. Quitting my job, moving to a big city with my family, and most of all, the uncertainty of never knowing if you will have a job from day to day to support a growing family in the filming and writing world.

Although a decision hasn’t been reached by the Network, myself or my family, it is probably not going to happen. If anything changes,

you will know.

2. Did Michaela ever join the Amish family, and how is she doing?

The answer is NO. She is still living in St Peters, Mo, hanging with her old high school friends, and has since found a boyfriend that seems like a good fit for her. At this time in her life, she seems happy with her decision. If anything changes in the future on this topic, I’ll let you know.

3. How is the Counseling Center coming?

It is a distant dream of mine at this time. Again, knowing now what you do, after reading how many hrs I work above, you will already have your answer. I do not at this time have the resources or the time to begin a Family Counseling Center. However, at some point in my life, I will. The one promise I can and will make is this. At one point in my life, probably after the kids are out of college, I will have established a large Family Counseling Center here in Mid Missouri. The time is not now for me, but the dream burns within me.

4. How is the Cephas Yoder Foundation coming?

Apparently it takes around a year for this process to become legalized and everything to become complete. I am currently taking donations, largely because I can’t stop people from sending money. With myself, my wife, and 3 ex Amish in this area on the board, we have an account set up, into which all the money is going. There is already a significant amount of money in this account, but we have agreed that not a dollar will be spent until the Foundation is complete and finalized.

Again, the goal with this foundation is to use this money for future kids that leave the Amish community, so as to help them to get established in the outside world.

5. How am I doing these days? How is my spirituality? Are we now going to a church, etc.

Let me just say that again, between family and my job, that takes everything I have. The answer is “No”. We are not going to a church. However, I have a 40 minute drive to and from work each day. A drive where I have found a strong connection with God and spend a lot of time talking to him. Maybe for now, that will have to do.

Please don’t be one of the thousands who come to my work, emails or calls me trying to get me to come to your church because your church and religion has that one true ingredient that none of the others does. At some point in my life, my family and myself will be attending a church, and it will be a small local church, but the time is not right now.

6. Can I come help you in your marital relationship, give your teenage child advice, speak at your political event, hold a bible study with you at your house, let you take me on a trip around the world, or rescue you from whatever problems you have encountered in life.

I will say this. I do absolutely have a heart for these things, and would definitely love to do these things. Yes, I often feel quite guilty that I cannot take off from work and family, travel to wherever to see if I can help. Bottom line is, however, if you’ve read the above writing so far, I don’t just sit at home waiting for these emails and phone calls to come in. I have a full time job. A job that I probably put in twice as many hours as most people in America. So again, no, at this point in my life, whether or not these things are what I am destined to do, I just can’t do them. I hope you understand.

7. How is the book coming, and when will it hit the shelves?

My writer has been out here for several months now, and it is a working progress. After stating repeatedly how I have not any time to do anything else in my life besides work and family, my writer and myself have made a schedule where we sit after the family is in bed for 2 nights a week until midnight, and half of a Sunday, and just put together material for the book. Currently there is not really an estimated time of publication, but I’ll keep you updated.

No, there is not a title yet, but I would be interested in hearing ideas for one.

8. Will I ever do any more filming in the future?

Although a second season of Amish: out of Order looks rather unlikely these days, I absolutely believe that in the not so near future something else will come up that maybe works more around my schedule. Something that I can see myself doing for some greater good, where I will once again disappear into the underground world of filming for a while.

9. (Email example) I am a huge fan of your show, and I want you to know that I admire what you are doing. Me and my other half have spoken at length, and we have decided that if you ever have any kids that leave, we would be willing to take them in, give them a home, love, support, etc.

If I have received this email or phone call at work once, I’ve received it 10,000 times. Let me explain to you that I am very grateful for the offers, and if this were a possibility, I would take you up on this offer. Here is the problem. There are no kids leaving in this area of America that wish to leave the sheltered confines of the Amish community and move directly into an English home.

I tried this personally when I was 16 yrs old. At that time there was not any ex Amish in Wisconsin that I knew of. I made it for 4 months, but I was so perfectly miserable it was unbearable! The change from Amish teen to English world is so dramatic that it is impossible to write it out in a Blog. All you want when you leave, is to move in with someone who grew up like you, get’s you, and understands you. Someone who can relate to you.

I don’t care who you are, or how easy it looks from the outside looking in, or how many years you have been associated with the Amish,if you weren’t born and raised within their communities, the chances of adopting one of their kids straight out of the community is slim to none. These kids will leave, move into a house that already has 10 other ex Amish kids living in it, have no job, money, opportunities, and have a very unfulfilling life, but they would still rather do that and live with people who ‘GET THEM” then someone who doesn’t understand them. Sure, there will always be the occasional case where it worked. However, here in the midwestern states, I know of less then 2% that worked out with living in an English home.
Also, keep in mind that I am not nearly the only person who takes in and helps kids when they leave. There are probably 40 to 50 ex Amish in and around Columbia, Mo. who were out long before I was, and have become more established then I have. Each and every one of these are opening their doors to new ones that leave and helping them get started in life.
The reason you don’t know this is because I am the only one who chose to tell my story on TV. It would not have worked for me to tell my story about how I help these kids, and after my story say,’ However, there are many more who do as much or more then I do.” The reason this part didn’t make it to TV, is because in order to tell a story, you need faces and homes to show. These other ex Amish were not as willing as myself to tell their stories.

10 Why are you no longer on TV, and did they pull the series, because when I tune in on Tuesday nights I can’t find you anymore?

Well, my dear reader, The series began Tuesday, April 17, 2012. It ran for all 10 episodes, and the last one crossed the screen on Tuesday night, June 19, 2012. There were only 10 episodes. It got very good ratings, but once you run through the 10 episodes, that’s all there are.

11. I missed an episode because I went out shopping and didn’t have time to watch it and forgot to record it. Or I missed the first half of the series. Can you please send me links, or DVDs so I can watch the whole thing? Sorry folks, I can’t by legal copyrights send you links or DVDs if you missed 1 or more episodes. I suggest contacting The National Geographic Channel. You will probably have better luck there.

Again, I did not want to ever write a straight forward, rather rude/hinting around the sarcastic edges blog, but I hope you as the reader can see why myself and my family need and deserve the rights to some form of privacy, and why if you’ve sent me several or more emails, left messages repeatedly, or even sent me snail mail, why I haven’t had a chance to get back to you.

The quiz: As I get ready to wrap up this blob, I had a sudden thought. I suppose the fact that I used to teach school, and still often have a teacher’s mindset, may explain this notion I have. I thought it interesting to do a quiz to see how well you paid attention to what I wrote.

1. At this point, how would you rate the chances of another season of Amish: out of Order, with me participating? Great. Good. Or unlikely?

2. If we met by careful planning or just randomly, how big were your chances of hitting it off instantly with me and becoming lifelong friends? Great, Good, or Unlikely?

3. Is Michaela currently living in the underground world of the Amish community in Pinecraft, FL. Yes or NO?

4. Are my family and myself currently attending a church? Yes or No?

5. Would I love to have you come and try to get me to start attending your church? Yes or No?

6. On a scale of 1 to 10, with 10 being charred black, how burned out am I from the lack of privacy and all the attention. 10 or 10?

7. Based on my information and a calculator, how many hours a week am I gone from my home for work? [A. 40 to 45] [B. 55 to 65] [C. 70 to 75] [D 85 to 90]

8. What is the latest project that I am currently working on?

9. If you had to choose between the person who gave you a choice to “eliminate either you and your family, or himself, which would you prefer? Him or you?

10. Is there a chance that I will eventually open my heart or welcome into my life the man buying hotel rooms here in Columbia, who claims God spoke to him directly to help change my life, when you consider he is only one example of thousands who have come and used God’s name to try and manipulate me into a passion they have or believe in in their life? yes or No?

11. Do I currently seem to value my family and my Job more then the TV side of it? Yes or No

12. After reading my blog, do I seem like the dad and husband who will drop job and family, travel to any corner of the United States to start some organization with some complete stranger, because this stranger saw an edited version of me on TV and feels like I am that one missing ingredient he or she needs to make this organization work for them in their life? Yes or No.

13. How big are your chances of ever adopting a new kid that leaves the Amish if you are “English” Great, Good, Slim to None?

14. Based on my Blog, Why do I choose to do things in the public (like filming, Blogs, writing books, etc.) when we were taught from childhood that being in the spotlight is evil. Money, Fame, or a Greater Good?

15. Which 2 of these 7 artists would I love to Meet? George Bush, Mariah Carey, George Strait, Garth Brooks, Ben Affleck, Brett Favre, or Lovie Smith?

16. What term do I use to describe my brain after a hard, stressful day at work? Smoking, intelligent, non existent, fried, massive, or one of a kind?

17. When I watch some of the things I do or say, come across the screen, am I always proud of everything I say for the world to see? Yes or No?

18. Does agreeing to participate to film a season of 10 episodes for The National Geographic Channel, while you are maintaining a high level in sales and raising a Family, take a high level of commitment? Yes or NO?

19. Is the series still coming on regularly every Tuesday night at the usual time? Yes or No?

20. If you missed an episode, is it my responsibility, or am I even allowed to send you a copy of it? Yes Or No?

After going back and reading over this Blog, it is certainly the most outspoken I’ve gotten yet, but one I felt I needed to write for several reasons. If you have read it, and still wish to be my facebook or website friend, I say welcome. Climb Aboard. I am honored to have you as a viewer and a friend.

If you are 20 years old, have tried contacting me, and don’t hear back from me until you are in a nursing home, Now I hope you know and understand why.

God Bless you and yours until we meet again.

77 Comments

  1. evelooney

    Well Mose, good for you! Good that you got a chance to say things that you needed to say. You are putting your family and “real”life first. I am glad the “TV” life did not ruin your family or your integrity. Thank-you for helping us English understand the challenges of being/leaving the Amish. I will continue to pray the Lord will work in your life. Avoid religion at all costs, but do seek a relationship with Jesus Christ. He’s waiting, and He has a life for you and your family more than you can ever imagine.

    • Mose we understand how you feel. Family always comes first. Can’t account for all the nuts in the world. Keep yourself and your family safe. Stay well

    • Mose: I did not chose to elevate myself in the entertainment industry for all the reasons that you have mentioned. It is a haunting lifestyle when people show up unannounced want an autograph, a picture or call your home with crazy talk. Your private life seems to be violated by those that think you owe them something. I applaud you for taking a stand. Let them(The viewers) think what they want.

  2. Mose, we all sure understand. I’m so sorry to hear about all those “kooks” who called you and showed up at your house! That must have been awful to deal with.
    What you achievd with the development of a real “community” among the ex-Amish in Columbia is absolutely brilliant. Just knowing that this will continue beyond the end of the tv series is a blessing.

  3. ali1257

    Mose and family….hugs to each of you!!! I think your blog post was clear and understandable. And I am so sorry that you are being flooded by requests and I think I sent one asking where to send $$ to help you and now I know…send to the foundation and know that when you need that money and know where it is going it will go and be spent for the greater good.

    May you blessed and encouraged by your friends and family that are in your life. As far as church goes, my hubby had a conversation with our home pastor (he is in Blaine, WA and we are in Branson, MO working as campground managers) and they talked about how difficult it is for us to go to church on Sunday mornings when that is our only time off together as we man the campground 24/7 most weeks with a few hours off an evening a week to go out to dinner (when we have the money). As like you, putting food on the table and paying all our bills is what propels us to do what we do, living thousands of miles from our children and grandchildren.

    Today is Sunday, have a great day of rest and Sabbath as you decide to spend it. And enjoy those precious children as they grow up way to darn fast :)

  4. AshleyDawn

    Mose (and family),
    This blog made me laugh. I enjoy and appreciate the sarcasm. I appreciate your honesty and am glad you said everything the way you did. I appreciate you being long winded, so incredibly open and covering every possible question, topic, etc.
    I am glad and inspired that you put your family above all else with the exception of your job that provides for your family.
    You haven’t lost who you are to fame and wow, that’s few and far between. I know networks could make millions off of you and your family and you are taking a stand that truly is awesome.

    Keep being who you are, never lose that sarcastic tongue. And much love to you and your family, who I don’t know and would NEVER bother but if I ever had the chance to meet and say hello to, I sure would :)

    • I laughed also. Not because the story is funny, but because I talk to people the same way Mose did here. Like people can’t understand anything you say, unless you get in their face and be mean about it. There are way too many needy and ignorant people in the world who will suck the life out of you if you don’t stand your ground. I just hope Mose gets the time and space he needs and stays true to what he knows is right. Get angry if that’s what it takes. I for one, am happy to see you stand up for yourself! You go Mose!

  5. hastrader

    Mose, Thank you for sharing what I know was a difficult post to write. You and your family deserve privacy and I am sorry that so many people don’t respect the privacy of others. Thank you for doing the Amish Out of Order documentary. Thank you for becoming comfortable enough with the crew to make us the viewers feel like we are all your best friends. Your program has helped me to heal from some of the judgement I’ve received for decisions I have made in my life. Blessings.

  6. Mose~
    1. I loved what you did to get the word out about the ex-Amish and really letting people know who they are adn why they do what they beleive.
    2. I am sorry for all the negativity your getting in response to church and people bugging you.
    3.You are a wonderful husband and father. I can truely see that you do everything you can to help them and that’s great!
    4. Your time with GOD is your time you don’t need a church, just prayer, the bible and good christian music.
    I hope that all is well, keep up the good work and just know that there are people out here who love and pray for you. I wouldn’t be stupid to do something like the South Dakota guy because its not my place. I will keep you in our prayers but know you had made something that many of us loved learning about and it got me wanting to know more and I have..soon I will write a book but its only because of the work you have done in that one season. Keep us posted when you aren’t beat! God Bless you and Keep you.

  7. joyceizme

    I am sorry that you are having to suffer the down-side of being a well-known personality. I am greatful that you let us see a side of life that not all of us are familiar with. This is the time for you to be a husband, a father, and to be able to lead your own life in peace, harmony, and privacy, and I certainly am one of the people who respect that. May you continue to hold on to those high ideals of wanting to help others. Kids grow up so fast and you and your wife should be able to enjoy every minute of being parents! Good luck to you in whatever the future holds for you and your family! I would still love to be your friend, if only just to read and reply to your blogs! May God bless you and yours!

  8. Hi-5 for sharing your heart, Mose. Although I’m not Amish, I see many common themes in our ethnic circles as well, the main thing is staying centered on the essentials. Your email is welcome and at your convenience: rudyxhiebert@yahoo.com

  9. katie0873

    Wow, I can’t imagine the emotional toll that the after-math of the series has taken on you. Thank you for sharing from your heart about what all you have endured during filming and after the series ran. I am sorry that you & your family have had to go through so much from people who don’t know when to back down. Sending well wishes to your family, your ex-amish friends and you too in all that you choose.

    • katie0873

      P.S. For the Cephas Yoder Foundation, you should get ex-amish volunteers that enjoy paperwork or writing, they can write a note of thanks to the contributer and you can get a simple receipt book that they can write in the donors info (keep a copy for yourself and send one to the donor). Just an idea. I hope the organization is a huge success and trust that you will be able to deligate to those who will help it be a huge success too.

      • Good point Katie. Having done work for various charitible organizations, and having solicited contributions for numerous cancer organizations on behalf of my own family who have been devastated by cancer, I know the value of sending some form of acknowledgement to contributors. At the very least, they need to know that their contribution arrived safely. It’s especially important in these hard economic times when people often really sacrifice to send money to a worthy cause. Even though most people will say that no thanks is required, frankly, it’s also just the polite thing to do. Sending up prayers for success and hoping with Katie that you are able to delegate lots of work so that it does not become too muuch for you.

  10. thereal

    Thank you for giving us an insite into your personal life other than the TV one we watched. I wish I could see the first series “Amish in the city”. If anyone knows where I can buy a DVD, please post it.

    Thank you!

  11. Cassie

    Oh, Mose. I’m so sorry for all the negative things that have happened to you and your family after you put out such a positive show for the rest of us to watch and learn from. I know that you know most of us aren’t out to talk you into anything at all. We just want you to know we appreciate all you did to make the show happen and I know that I just want you and your family to be happy and prosperous. Your life will work out the way it’s meant to. I look forward to your book and I know the future will be bright for you and your family. Eventually the nut cases will fade away and leave you alone. They’ll move on to someone else who’s in the spotlight. All my best!

  12. aindia

    Mose, you need to do what is good for you and your family. I only hope that people that read your blog understand. I am just blessed that you decided to share your life and it has obviously impacted many- some for the good, and some for the not so good. I cannot take away the pain and nuttiness of what some have done to you and your family, but I can say that I am from the small percent who truly am honored that you opened up your heart to show the world what your life is like. May God bless you and your family, and give you the strength to do what you need to do. I would be honored to be your friend, if only to read your blog, or see a picture on face book. Thank you for being you.

  13. annaidinparksville

    Hello Mose,
    Whatever you and your family do please know that many of us fully support you. Opening up a once private life has meant there have been many sacrifices you and your family have had to make. While we are grateful it doesn’t entitle people to cross boundaries and feel that you now belong to them. Good for you for taking a stand, being sarcastic and putting your family first. You don’t owe any of us an explanation but the fact that you took the time to write this blog isn’t something any of us should take for granted. I would be lying if I said I didn’t appreciate you doing the show but I’m saddened knowing the cost you and your family have had to endure. Love and peace to all of you, Dianna.

  14. FreFre

    You are a true Packers fan!!! GO PAC GO!!!!

  15. elketexas

    Hallo lieber Mose,

    dein blog hat mich sehr traurig gemacht. Ich habe aehnliches erlebt nachdem ich in einer Tv Sendung war ueber Auswanderer. Es wird besser mit der Zeit. Ich verstehe die Menschen nicht.

    Du bist eine wunderbare Person. Danke!

    Lieben Gruss

  16. LincNebr

    Thanks for the long post, it all makes sense.

    For years I have had an interest in knowing more about the Amish. Hearing your story adds just one piece of what I was looking for.

    I am from Lincoln,NE but tonight, as I type this, I am in Jamesport,Mo wrapping up a weekend of trying to get to know some Amish better. People that are truly seeking to know more about the Amish will not stop their journey because you decided to do the right thing and put your family first.

    Hang in there… your kids only get one daddy.

  17. Dear Mose,

    Whether others agree with you or not, and whether others like it or not, you have certain priorities that go above all others: God, your family, your job, etc.

    But you already know this, don’t you?

    And as far as church goes, yes, it’s great to be a part of the body of Christ. The fellowship strengthens us. But the Lord can meet you in your car just as much as He can in a church. It’s not about the building. It’s about our hearts, where we’re at before him. That’s what God sees.

    Speaking of hearts, when God wants us to do something, He usually plants the seed in us first, even if we don’t realize it at the time. When someone else comes along and says something (waters what God already planted), it clicks (sprouts up in our soul), and we know it’s right, even though we can’t put our finger on why. It’s a confirmation of sorts.

    Over the years, I’ve had many folks tell me “God told me…” And there were times it was of God. There were also times that it wasn’t, more often than not.

    Forgive me for rambling. I, too, have been wounded by those of my own “faith” so I “get” much of what you’re saying.

    I have a story I want you to read. I don’t want to promote it here on your blog, though, so I’ll send you the link in an email. Maybe it will help you in this struggle. If not, tuck it away for a rainy day.

    My thoughts and prayers are with you, your family, and all those you love.

    God bless you, brother.

  18. Thank-you for the honesty and hard work you put in to this post. We respect all you did to make the series eye opening, informative and special. I am thrilled that you want to put God first and keep your family solid. We would much rather have you all walking after the Lord and succeeding in life, than have more struggles caused by a second season. Keep walking the walk and keep sharing as the Lord leads!

    http://geoffgentry.org/amish/

  19. Good morning Mose. I was so sorry to hear that you have been annoyed and harassed by stalkers. It never crossed my mind that anyone that watched the show would come to your place of employment. It’s pretty spooky that these kind of people know where you work. I totally understand that you don’t have the time and energy to do another season of Amish Out of Order. Your family is more important. Thank you so much for your dedication and hard work that you put into the episodes that you did. I learned so much about the Amish and the Ex Amish. I don’t understand why some of your viewers expect so much from you. I so understand the sarcasm in your blog. I wish you and your family many blessings. May the Lord keep you safe. God bless you and your family.

  20. Hey Mose,
    Harsh post, but it sounds like a bunch of us needed to hear it. Now you’re ‘famous’ but with no money for a bodyguard. I hope you get a break from the attention soon. On camera it’s true, you do seem really warm and open. I can see why a lot of us were confused. My husband is very private and it would become crazy if even a few people started bugging him. I’m actually surprised your post wasn’t more upset.
    I wanted to say I think it’s fine for you not to attend a church. I know atheists who are better people than some churchgoers, so obviously church attendance is not the key to goodness.
    Best luck with everything,
    Tracey

  21. Good for you for putting your foot down and saying enough! Try to get some rest and find time for the family, the kids will only be little once. Enjoyed your show and will miss it, but understand completely and respect you more for realizing that the family should come first. Good Luck in all you do! Dawn

  22. I didn’t take your blog as harsh or rude but rather as a man that has had enough. As a husband, father and grandfather I can understand the need to protect you and your family from all the people out there that some how in their minds think they know whats best for you and yours. However having never walked in your shoes I wouldn’t even think of pretending I know all about Mose.
    I did enjoy both shows you worked on but that doesn’t make me an expert on Mose. Nor do I think that if we ever met would we even make good friends as it seems we are both pretty set in our ways and are very different people. Not to say that if you knocked on my door and needed some gas for your car :-) that I wouldn’t help you out, I would. I enjoy being a good person and helping others when I can. I guess what I have gone a long way around saying is that wanting/needing your life back isn’t something you should feel bad about. Not wanting people showing up at or calling you at work for anything other then buying a car is reasonable expectation. AND showing up at or calling your home for what ever reason they come up with no matter how good it sounds in their heads is WAY over the line. And if I was you I am sure I would react in much the same way and then maybe I wouldn’t be so nice about it. Don Case

  23. Wow! That was a long blog, took me a couple times coming back to it to get through it. :D
    I totally understand. I’m so sorry that you’ve had to deal with people harassing you and invading your personal life.
    I really really enjoyed the show and appreciate you giving us an inside view into your life. I know it wasn’t easy to give up the time you normally would be spending with your family.
    I look forward to your next en devour, whenever that might be!
    Hang in there.

  24. Uncompromising Confrontation

    8. Will I ever do any more filming in the future?

    …something else will come up…

  25. JainasMom

    Mose, I really just wanted to thank you for sharing your life with us. I really can’t begin to imagine the stress on your family having all these people in your face all the time and random people approaching you on the street.

    My husband is a very popular tattoo artist in our area and just having his clients come up to my daughter and I on the street to show me their tattoos and say hello and give hugs and whatever is a bit unnerving to say the least. So I can only begin to imagine what its like for you.

    I am grateful that you can find some time to blog for us, it’s nice to read a well written from the heart blog. This is the only blog I am actually ‘subscribed’ too to get an email when something new is written.

    If there is not another season of Amish:out of order, I understand completely why that decision was made. I do want to thank you for the first season, for taking the time to film it and really educating me about the Amish faith and the different Amish sects. Up until your show, my only contact with the Amish was the group in Lancaster, PA and I honestly thought all the Amish were like that.

    I hope that going forward, you will have more time with your family. In the end, that’s all that matters. Your children are your legacy, not us fans or random people on the street saying hello. You don’t have to have any excuse for wanting to spend what little time you have with your family and not answering emails or going to churches or whatever.

    My family isn’t religious, we don’t go to church, we spend every moment possible with each other playing games and telling stories and taking our daughter on nature hunts out in the yard. Religion and church just isn’t a fit for us. You can do a lot of good in this world just on your own because it’s the right thing to do. I hope you find your church, on your own, without influence from anyone but you and your family, if that is what you decide you need in your life.

    I will keep reading, and keep posting, there is just something about your story that really touched my heart and my life. I wish you nothing but the best in everything you do and I hope you get to meet Brett Favre one day, I hear he’s got some free time these days :-)

  26. Thank you everyone. I really wasn’t at all sure how the Blog would be received, and was fully prepared to get ripped apart.
    I am Proud to see that you all have stood by me and support me through the thick and the thin. I see that I can truly call you my friends.
    Stay true to yourself, and yes, I will periodically continue to post more Blogs.

  27. magnoliafaye

    I am really sorry that these things have happened. Seems like it is always the nice guys of the world that stuff like this happens to. My husband and I really enjoyed the ten weeks you were on NG and would have loved to see more of your life. It was the best thing on tv in a long time. But, we will be waiting for your book instead. May God bless you and yours. I will be thinking of you on Sept 30 when YOUR team plays MY BELOVED team. Did you know that B. Favre (also a nice guy) is now working at a high school in Mississippi? I think as offensive coordinator. Magnoliafaye

  28. Shauna

    Hi Mose,

    Sorry that people feel the need to invade your privacy. Do right by your family and hopefully we’ll get the chance to see you on television again, when the opportunity is right for you.

    Can’t wait to read the book. Will be checking back here frequently so I don’t miss its release! And GO PACK!

    Shauna

  29. Wife & I were inspired to hear Esther and her decision to not to pursue the acting audition. I was so encouraged to see her determined to remain faithful to her faith and conviction in God. I think Esther could find her place in acting in the Christian church of her choice.

  30. Kellyann87

    Mose thanks for just being you! I’m glad you wrote this blog and you have my respect and prayers. From here out you take care of yourself and that beautiful family, God Bless

  31. mrbigjoe59

    Mose:

    Wow! You really got it all out didn’t you? I thought the show was professional and well thought out.

    I am amazed at the audacity of people who will go to the extent to hunt you down, camp out at a local hotel, etc. I will look forward to the book, and will scoop one up when it comes out!

    Mose, take care of your family, and yourself! God bless you, and your ex-Amish friends there. My only concern for you, is your being a Packers fan! Lol! Just kidding! I wish you the best. Take care!

    Joe

  32. BonnieLee

    Dear SHANA SUE,

    Your sacrifices (undoubtedly too numerous to mention) have NOT gone unnoticed. Thank you Shana, for tolerating all of the demands made upon you. Thank you for enduring the stress and strain that this project has surely put you under. Thank you for comforting your children and wiping away their tears when Daddy had to “go to work”. Because of your patience and support, Mose was able to share with “the guy beside the camera” his thoughts, his hopes, a few of his dreams, and some of his aspirations. He has most definitely left a possitive and indelible impression.

    But most of all Shana, thank you for sharing Mose with us.

    An avid viewer from Montreal, Canada.

  33. BonnieLee

    Mose?

    I can say nothing more than what you’ve already heard thousands of times, simply…

    THANK YOU. period

  34. ChristinaCD

    Mose,family and the rest of the ex-amish on the show

    Thank you for the sacrifices you’ve made to give us a glimpse into your lives.

    You are right, some people don’t understand that just cause they see you on TV means you want to be their best friend, in fact most of the time it’s the opposite.

    We’ll be keeping all of you in our prayers up here in Canada!

    Christina

  35. Kellyanglin

    It’s amazing that God would tell someone else what you should be doing with your life- crazy people! :/

  36. LoriAngel

    I’m sorry that people don’t respect your privacy and need to have your life be just that, yours.

    I appreciate the time that you and the other examish/amish took to let the rest of us have a look into your worlds. I came away with a much better understanding of the amish way of life and sadly a sad heart at the way a family can shun a child for wanting to leave or expand their horizons. There is nothing my children could do that would make me cut off all contact with them…I may not like what they do, but I would still love them and be there for them.

    I hope your this last blog post of yours opens up people’s eyes and they respect you and your family and your right to a normal life. Thanks again for letting us in for a glimpse of a lifestyle that I didn’t know a lot about (although I live in an area with a lot of old order mennonites here in Ontario Canada) You are a generous person with a good heart and should not be faulted or threatened for wanting a private life like the rest of us have.

  37. Phantom

    Have sent you an email concerning a video that was shown in Europe Mose. It was done by the BBC and I believe it will not be shown in the USA. I sent the email to your AOL account. If you did not get this let me know and I will send it to you via Dropbox.

    I can understand what you and your family are going through. Take Care and as my mum favorite bible verse was PSALM 3,5,6

    Regards

    JE Joseph

  38. sueannz

    Well said! Wow, I find it amazing that someone would actually stalk you and think that they somehow had a “connection” to you just because you were on TV. This just shows how lonely people are in our society that they turn to a person they saw on television for help or friendship. Thank you for sharing your thoughts, Mose. Love to you and your family.

  39. oberlefam

    For me the series was entertainment but also gave an insight into the Amish and ex-Amish community. I have read a lot of “Amish fiction,” and now am aware it was very sugar-coated. Many thanks for sharing your lives with me. God bless you and your family.

  40. I just want to say thanks. My husband and I have enjoyed watching the show… Not necessarily for the education on the Amish… But to see that there are people that have the courage to believe beyond their religious upbringing. It is sad to here that people are condemned to hell for leaving a religious way of life. Religion can’t fill anyone… Only God can do that. God doesn’t dwell in buildings or in colonies… He dwells in the hearts of his creation. You can’t lose that.

    Thank you, Mose.

  41. Estoria

    I can’t believe that people posting comments on here are still making suggestions of things you should do, see, read etc. I thought your candid words were quite clear in that you don’t have time!! It is sad that the message is still apparently NOT getting through. I wish you nothing but peace and more time to do the things you want to do, the things that really matter and to continue to be a great father and husband. I know someday you will get to run your family counseling center. I think when you are as busy as you are that some things must wait but patience makes it all worthwhile and good things come to those that wait.

    It must be strange, exhausting and frustrating to have so many people try to contact you and get responses. I don’t think I would like that myself. I am a shy and private person and I would find that annoying. There is a purpose to everything though. Something to be learned out of everything. You know who you are and now you know more about the strange and sometimes wonderful people out there. I will continue to read your blog and see how you are doing when I can. Keep up the good work Mose. You are an inspiration to us all.

    Thanks,

    Sarah

  42. Hi Mose,

    I’m sure the nutjobs you’ve encountered have tainted this whole experience for you but I hope you know that there are way more non-nutjobs who have thoroughly enjoyed what you’ve shared with us without expecting more. Now that the series has wrapped up, I think there will be fewer people being so demanding of you in the coming months. I hope.

    That being said, I think you should capitalize on your current star status by opening a restaurant, developing your own line of clothing for Target and maybe a men’s fragrance. (wink)

    I look forward to more blog posts from you but it sounds like maybe you should take some time to smell the flowers, or in your case…football!

    Ingrid
    Montreal, Canada

  43. Wow. After reading about the stalkers and those who are on a mission from God, it reminds me of a country music song from a few years ago that is at least 2/3 right: “God is great, (some say)beer is good, and (most definitely) PEOPLE ARE CRAZY! :)

  44. Hey Mose, yes I read the entire thing and I don’t know how you manage to do all that, let alone with people constantly contacting you wanting things or attention that you are not obligated to give them! Unfortunately, when you’re in the public eye there are a lot of people who would do what you have described and I’m sorry that they have threatened your family that’s absolutely disgusting not to mention terrifying. As for the “difficulty” connecting with people, I think it’s a personality trait because I’m the same way. I can’t even look at people until I get to know them, there’s really nothing wrong with it, especially given some of the people who have tried to contact you I’d like to think that anyone would be that way. Keep doing what you have to do to take care of and spend time with your family. One of the thoughts I often had while watching the show was “When does he spend time with his family if he’s always gone?” so spend as much time with them as you can and take care.

  45. blondie

    My husband and I really enjoyed the show and the courage it took to put your personal life out there. I was raised in a group that shuns ex-members, sometimes even members when they don’t measure up to individual judgment. I come from a 3 generation family and left 11 years ago. That group was not as cut off physically from the community outside our religion but were emotionally and spiritually. We work now informally helping members who have left.

    Love to your family, Blondie

    • I, like Blondie, was brought up in another religious group (the same one, I believe) from which leaving can mean the loss of your family and the only friends you were allowed to have growing up. The constant judgement and the emotional blackmail of the threat of losing all you’ve ever known, is very hard. Through the help of those like Blondie….who I know from other sites….the transition to being “worldly” has been made more easy. That is why I have been so interested in this series and am very glad there are people out there like you who are there to help and support those who need it. I can relate. You should know that there are many others, non-Amish, who have appreciated how you have opened up a part of your life and provided courage and/or encouragement in ways you may not have realized. God bless you and your family….and thank you.

  46. Missy_n_fla37

    Great Blog Mose. Thank you for taking the time to Film Amish Out of Order, it was very informative and interesting. I hope all of the others are well.

  47. Quteequilter

    Good for you Mose. Thank you for all your time and honesty and educating for us English.

    Straight forward and to the point. Well Done!

    Sending the best of life to you and your beautiful family. I truly hope your message gets through to others that need to hear it.
    God Bless
    Tish M. Concord CA

  48. My Dear Mose,

    I always have such a kick out of reading your blog. You have an uncanny way of getting a very clear message across with diplomacy and a good grain of humour. Some will say sarcasm, and there is some, but it is humorous sarcasm that clearly states: “This is how it is and will be!” You must have been a wonderful teacher, because I read these and see the qualities of many of my most respected colleagues at school.

    I am amoung the people who felt compelled to reach out to you, via email, and I did so with the utmost respect for you and your privacy. If there is anything I said that breached that respect, please do forgive me: that was unintentionnal.

    Oh and you need not worry about my “showing up at the car dealership” (I cannot believe people actually did that!): I am in Canada, so that ain’t gonna happen. ;)

    God Bless you and yours,

    Nathalie

  49. oldordie

    Thank you for the many things it cost you to teach us about a world we used to only be allowed to see from the outside. I learned many things, not the least of which is to be accepting of anyone who is not exactly like me. Your gift of knowledge truly has served the greater good. If National Geographic is able to do so, I hope they occasionally rerun the series so more people have a chance to learn. You are a great teacher because you are honest even if the truth hurts.

  50. will2568

    Mose, I completely support the needs you and your family have for privacy and security. You are courageous beyond words for baring your soul on national TV for a greater good. Your life story is a cautionary tale of what can happen when a religion supposedly based on love and compassion for one’s neighbors gets perverted by wolves in sheep’s clothing with selfish motives. I may not be ex-Amish, but as a fellow traveler through this life, I feel we’ve walked the same path because I too have had a crisis of faith that shook my belief system to its core. It took years of psychotherapy and soul searching for me to come to the conclusion that I would never again as long as I live, let any other person tell me what I should believe without giving me concrete evidence that such beliefs have any validity. Through the healing process, I’ve reached a point in my life where been blessed with the freedom to question my own beliefs and accept the fact that I may not live long enough to ever find the answers that I seek. I don’t care whether God exists or not, because I’ve learned that I’m responsible for my own life’s journey, and I’m behind the wheel, not somebody else. You and I are kindred souls whether we know each other intimately or not. Words cannot express my admiration and respect for the courage and strength I know in my heart it took for you to break the chains of slavery you were held under by false prophets who lie in the name of the Almighty. Enjoy your new found freedom my brother. “Free at last! Free at last! Thank God Almighty we are free at last!”

  51. Dear Mose,

    It’s shocking and sad to hear what you and your family are going through with strange people showing up at your door, some even threatening your safety. I have enjoyed learning about Amish and Ex-Amish culture through the work you’ve done on TV starting with Amish in the City. I wish you health, peace, and happiness with your family, and I appreciate the sacrifices you made in your personal life to tell the story of your community.

    Peace be with you.

    Sandra

    • You and your family of ex-Amish are lovely, Mose. Thank you all for helping the ‘English’ to understand your world more. I, too, am fascinated by the Amish and their lifestyleS (I didn’t know there was more than one!). I am an American by birth, living in the UK by choice. I enjoy the climate as well as its laid-back lifestyle which is reminiscent to the 1970s US. You and your fellow exes are a breath of fresh air; thank you so very much for sharing! Keep up the work that God has so clearly designated to you!

  52. mel@nie@nn

    Mose, I have watched the show Amish:Out of Order all day today due to my own facination with the Amish & the Amish world. I must say that you have touched my heart along with the other ex-Amish people on the show. My heart breaks for you that you & others want so desperately to visit you mom & or family…I can’t begin to imagine those feelings. I received a blessing from the show & from all of you & from the Amish people, I wish the English lived more like the Amish in the way they forgive & in the way they hold family so dear & treasured. I am sorry for your past abuse however God had a plan for you all along. God Bless you & all the ex-Amish & thank you for the blessing you gave me today…I haven’t been “in touch” with my spiritual self for awhile & the show took me there today & for that I am grateful. Bless your family & all that you do…Thank you.

  53. ajanimatrix

    Awesome show! My wife and I watched the program for 4 hours. Keep up the great work.

  54. Mose I hope you understand what you mean to all these people and what an example you set for those of us who have seen and continue to watch “Amish: Out of order”.

    You’re an inspiration. In this society it is so easy not to help; to walk on by, but you do so much and make such an effort to do so and I believe it makes such in a huge difference in not only the lives of the poeple who you are in direct contact with but also all those who see what you have done for all those other people around you. Way to go Mose.

  55. deborahallen

    Why don’t you and the other ex Amish discuss making “Webisodes” on the internet? It would give all of you a way to continue what you started with the TV show and allow you a way to continue sharing your stories with us. I know you said that you have a full schedule, but you could encourage the younger people to follow you around with a vid camera much the same way the TV crew did. Then at the end of the day they can review and edit what they have captured. Even if you don’t put the vid on the internet it would be a way for them to learn a new skill and possibly find their new career path.

  56. the2x2mom

    Mose, I have just stumbled upon the reruns of Out Of Order. I have had a marathon today and enjoyed it greatly. I loved what I saw on In The City and am so glad to see you in a program again. I feel so much better informed after watching these 2 programs and I believe you have a gift to educate and enlighten. Thank you for the work you do for the young people who come out! You are forever in my prayers!

  57. Hi Mose. Just finished watching all of the Amish Out of Order episodes I had DVR’d. I have 3 sons of my own, all about the age of the boys in the series, so I cried a lot and wished I were there to mother them all. The series touched me on so many levels. Won’t go into it all, just know how grateful I am for the willingness of you and your friends to share their experiences. This blog touched me as well. I am sure it’s nice to hear that your work is appreciated, but I can’t imagine how awful it must be to be harrassed the way you and your family have been. I pray for privacy and protection for you and your family. Good for you for putting your family first! I pray for the support and success of the young people leaving the Amish or any faith which excommunicates, or withdraws from, or shuns those who choose not to continue with that denomination. And I pray for the Amish, that their religious rights are always protected and that they soften their hearts to their loved ones who choose another way.

  58. Mose,

    Thank you for your open and honest blogpost. You owe no one anything and people need to accept that, but unfortunately they do not. I have been deeply touched by the shows and I realize the hours of filming that go into making them. I would like to extend a big thank you to your wife and children for sharing you so that you could make the shows possible for us.

  59. farmgirlvicki

    Mose, I’m writing like most of the others who’ve commented here, to just counter the crazies out there that you’ve had to deal with as you’ve attempted to do something good. There are more of us out here who appreciate your honesty and openness than there are crazies. Unfortunately for us all, those ones who come forward in such a negative way makes it an ordeal for you and the majority of us regular folk. Personally, my family’s hope and wishes for you and yours, is a good life… free of those who would degrade the good you’ve done in opening your life for all to see. My family sees the good that you and your wife (because we’re sure she is much more of a major part of that show than appeared in TV!)have done in doing the show. Keep on…

  60. Thank you so much for doing this show. But thank you even more for your honesty and your sarcasm. Its refreshing. I hope that people will now understand to leave you be and let you live your life. I too sent an email, but not to recieve one or become your friend or whatever. Merely to show my support for what you are doing. kudos to you and your family. a Specail Kudos to your Awesome wife. Holding down the fort with busy kids and a husband who works hard is tough. I only have one, I can’t imagine her day! But God Bless and keep you all. Can’t believe people would want to invade your privacy. Sorry about that. Hope that doesnt tar and feather us all or your attitude toward your fans!

  61. axman1971

    Thank You Mose, and God bless you and your family.

  62. marmiller51

    Hi Mose. This was helpful to me. Amish is a culture just like any other culture. English (mainstream Americans), Black culture, Indian culture, Hispanic culture, Asian culture, etc. it’s what makes America the great melting pot. We accept, embrace, and enjoy each other for the most part.
    The Amish along with many other cultures have woven religion into these life style choices. Some maintain the membership with the promise of hell.

    Religion is mans feeble attempt to reach God on mans terms.

    Read John 3:16, embrace it and you will sleep like a baby. God loved us so much, he kept it simple for all mankind, so all could be saved.

  63. marmiller51

    I can’t. Help myself here. The Amish and strict Mennonites have adopted the Bible as the book from which their rules are given authority and bound in the heavens.
    My favorite verse says, For God so loved the World. It does not say for God so loved the Amish.
    Like you, I asked way too many questions.

  64. deerslayer9point deerslayer9point

    Mose, I watch your show. I want you to know that leaving the Amish will not send you to hell. What will send us to hell is leaving Jesus Christ and not serving the Lord! Technology is great but it’s what we do with it. I loved the Bible study you had with them. It touched my heart. I’m praying for you and your family. I was raised Baptist myself and I too have had some change in the way I was raised. I’ve been saved for 20 years now and I wouldn’t change it for the world. Don’t let tradition keep you down and run your race to Heaven! I look forward to going there. Jesus Saves! Amish or religion doesn’t. Pure religion before God is what He seeks after. True worshippers. I pray we make it home on judgement day. God bless you all!

  65. I’ve tried to watch the “Breaking Amish” show but do not feel attracted to it at all. I feel that it does a disservice and is insulting to those people who are part of that ethnic group. It also doesn’t do the network that shows it any good either.

  66. karinadawn

    Hi Mose,
    I am from Australia so the idea of the ‘Amish’ culture and community is completely foreign to me….but I was fascinated by the program ‘Amish out of order’….it was so honest and illuminating.

    I can’t imagine how tormenting it must be to have to walk away from your family so as to progress in society; or to stay in a culture knowing there is so much more out there. Either way it seems like a double edged sword for you all.

    I have deep admiration for you all and just wish to encourage you in your journey. I will never completely understand, but I do empathise.

    Mose, for you personally you taken on so much responsibility and I think you are an extraordinary human being. I wish you would take the pressure off yourself sometimes; what you do is pretty amazing and I know you don’t want credit, but I think at the very least give yourself permission to live joyfully.

    Thanks for such a great program…I hope there will be another series. Good luck for the future for yourself, your family and your other Amish ex-patriots.

    Sending much love from Australia,

    Karina

  67. missussusankay missussusankay

    What Karina says about living joyfully, I completely agree…..

  68. Hi Mose

    I just found your blog a few days ago after watching your input on Out of Order. Phenominal documentary that I think anyone interested in learning about the Amish should watch! And while I did write you an email I just wanted to post here I don’t expect an answer I just wanted to say a few tbings perosnally that I cannoy/will not share publicly as I tend to be a highly private person as well! Sadly people tend to be attracted to “celebrities” and hopefully some mivht get the point reading your blog. I chuckled at your Q&A at the end! It sums up a lot! Hope you and yours have a wonderful Christmas this year and Blessings on your home!

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