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My Personal Journey

episode 5 recap, & 6 review:

I feel it is safe to say that an edited version of my road trip to Ohio, Pa, and finally to IU University, did not do it justice. The trip, indeed, was much more fulfilling then it was edited down to. For those of you who I visited and filmed with so far, those of you that did or didn’t make the cut, I want you to know that it was a pleasure, and I do really appreciate meeting you and spending the time with you. If you didn’t make the cut, it very likely wasn’t anything you did or said wrong, but rather my own fault, or once the footage got to the editing room, we discovered that it just didn’t quite fit into where I was at that point in my Journey and the story I was telling.                                                         Elsie Buggy Ride in PA.

Take for example for instance, My trip to Wisconsin, coming up in episode 6, where a large part of it was spent filming with some friends in Willard, Wi, who have a Organization called the “Christian Motorcycle Association”. They went out of their way to give me a warm welcome home, and I did enjoy my time and had some life changing times with them. I would not have guessed that a motorcycle group could be so nice and God fearing! God Bless you guys, and you will not be forgotten!
Also, I tracked down one of my old scholars that I taught in school when I was Amish. We spent a Sunday together at the old school grounds talking about old times and why he left, and how I may or may not have changed his life. There is only one problem. During most of the time, we were sitting on opposite ends of a teeter totter board, and yes, going up and down. As you can imagine, once this got into the editing room, there was no way to make this scene work that has 2 grown men playing together on a child school playground that would work, if you know what I mean.
I was truly impressed by the differences in the Amish communities the farther East I traveled. It would appear that for the communities that have been established longer, they have truly adapted to the world much more. To have someone like Elsie work in a place like Kettle Village and drive tourists in an Amish buggy, and she is baptized in the Amish church was a miracle to me. I do not at all disagree with how the Amish live out there. As a matter of fact, I can appreciate it. In my area of the world, where the Amish are much more strict, they coincidentally are not as loved by the outside world. It seems like there is a disconnect in this area, where a place like Ohio and PA, where they interact more with the outside world, they are more accepted and loved. Could it be that at the end of the day, all it would take is for outsiders to understand the Amish and become a little more educated in them, their ways and beliefs, and once they understand them better, and the bridge is gapped a little?
Might I add that during this time, although it has seldom been touched upon since episode 1, I maintained my regular job at Joe Machens Toyota (www.joemachens.com) as a sales Professional. It was anything but an easy undertaking to go through a period in my life where I needed answers, and traveled quite a bit to get these answers, and still between events, churches, and buggy rides with Elsie, etc, I was also closing sales on my cell with customers back home who needed a car. Truly a challenging time for me to whittle this many things at once, but I wouldn’t do a thing different.

                                                        Joe Keim & Me in Ohio

I have never been prouder of Esther M then when she decided to follow her heart and the message from the Man above . I look at Esther M like a sister, and to me I was neutral on whether or not she pursues filming. All I wanted her to do is be happy and comfortable in whatever or where ever her path led her. I do have a strong feeling that her filming days aren’t over just yet though. At some time in her life, when the time is right, and she and God have found a medium for her, her career will take off.
My trip to Indiana University, which was what I was looking forward to, and got many answers to during my trip East, started anything but what I expected. I remember the day before the Lecture, I was coming down sick, and woke up the day of the lecture throwing up, with a migraine, and didn’t eat anything. After battling numerous demons, and talking to the man above at length, I decided to go ahead and do it anyway. I had written down about 10 topics to discuss, and since I had never done anything like this before, I figured to do what “Mr president” does. Stand in front of a podium, look at my paper most of the time, and look up once in a while. I discovered 10 seconds into it that I was gonna suck at this, so I disregarded the paper, and winged it. I actually spoke for probably 45 minutes, and took Q&A’s for another 15 or 20 minutes. It was a blast, and quoting the words of a my very worried field producer and cameraman, I knocked it out of the ball park.
Over the next few episodes, I will literally crawl into a hole and not answer any electrical device at all.

Episode 6 will be the hardest thing I’ve ever done! It is the most “Out of Control” of myself and my life I have ever been in my life! It will follow me going further into my past for answers and leads me to some unlikely places and I meet some unlikely people. As many of the viewers may have gathered by now, I have always struggled with my spirituality and whether God does or doesn’t love me since I left the Amish faith. I have always suffered and will probably will never be truly a happy person in the outside world because I have an Amish family and many, many Amish people back in the communities who disagree with the life I have chosen to live.
Will I find any answers during this trip, and will I mend any fences or close the gap even a little? Like I said earlier, I have never done anything this personal on TV before, and I am still torn up over it! I have no idea how it will be received, and speaking quite frankly, will once again, leave it to the Man upstairs. At the end of the day, he is the reason I am where I am in my life, and why I am doing what I am doing.
Let’s call it a mid life crisis. I think most people who have gone through some tramatic times, like I have, in life, reach a point where they can no longer push out, or ignore, those issues. Whether or not it was right or wrong of me to let a camera follow me during this personal time in my life, I may never know. However, I have never regretted any of it, and frankly, wouldn’t

                                                     My 3 ex Amish brothers and Me

go back and change any of my life. I am right where I am supposed to be!
Might I add, however, please keep the Emails and feedback coming. Hearing how I have inspired or changed someones life, makes it all worthwhile.

Until next time, Bleib Fescht in Glava.

55 thoughts on “My Personal Journey”

  1. YOU ARE LOVED … by God and many, many people. I’m positive that God appreciates and will acknowledge you bringing me closer to my faith and my family as that’s something he’s never been able to do on his own. I feel certain that you will be especially rewarded in the next life for being a catalyst for positive change in my life by sharing yourself and your story. Thank you – for just being YOU!

  2. Television isn’t nice to people who are “warm” personalities. They tend to look rabid.

    You look fine on TV.

    I can’t speak for God, but I do think the human race likes you, a whole lot.

  3. You are one of God’s children, he loves you no matter what religion you choose. I would think the other way, your family has forsaken you and your family. Keep up with your mission weather your on TV or not.

  4. Mose,as an ex Amish myself, I can understand your feelings about God’s love. In my 69 years I have learned and can assure you that God loves you. Sometimes he may be unhappy with the way we act, but as a Father he loves all his children. You can understand that from your own perspective as a father yourself. The anguish that you suffer is that your natural father can not discern between the act and the person. Material things have blinded him. I have an Amish friend whose brother is in prison for drugs and other issues, yet while in prison he made the statement that he was not arrested, he was rescued. He found that the Jesus that he learned about in Amish church was the same Jesus that still loves him even if he isn’t Amish.
    Being Amish does not make someone a Christian any more then swimming in a lake makes someone a fish. Denominational issues that exist among professing Christians has caused great heartache and pain because we each so often feel we have chosen the one and only way to live. We must never forget that God loves each of us. He sent Jesus to show that love and to pay the price for our failures. Keep Jesus centered in your life and follow what you understand in the Bible are his desires for your life. In that, I believe you will find true peace with the past and happiness in the future. See, life is not about me it is about Him,Jesus.

    Keep up the great work you are doing in educating people about life. When we open ourselves up to others we are a help to them.

    I also was pleased with Esther’s decision to not compromise her principles as she understood where God needs her now.

    Shalom and Peace to all

    1. Willie, I must say that I am in Total Agreement With EVERYTHING that you had to say!!!
      Mose, Do Not let People get you down. People Will ALWAYS Fail Us…But God will NEVER FAIL US!!! Even When Our Mother and Father May Forsake us…Remember that the Bible CLEARLY TEACHES us that Even THE LORD MY GOD WILL TAKE ME UP!!!
      Mose, YOu are doing a Most Wonderful thing, and I believe that God is Pleased with you, and with the Actions of your heart!!! Keep Up the Good Work! :)

  5. I love your authenticity, Mose. You’re genuine, sincere, and Jesus shines brightly through you and the love you show others.
    I was so impressed with Esther and her decision to walk by her spiritual convictions. She will be blessed, as will you, and the LORD will be glorified.
    I continue to pray for you and the other ex-amish. All of you are a blessing!
    Hugs
    Dana in Alaska
    :-D

  6. Shalom Mose;

    I have been back into contact with my hasidic brothers, I was sitting at my fav coffee shop having a coffee and reading your blog when four hasidic boys came up to me and were just kinda looking at me. One finally asked are you Jewish. I replied yes but not practicing. They asked if they could perform a mitzvah with me right there. They asked me tp put on teffilin. which are tow boxes with verses from the bible written by a scribe attached to leather. ther are prayers to be said in Hebrew while putting these on one goes one the left arm the other on the forehead. so we made quite a site for those sitting near by. The moment nearly left me in tears. Their rabbi was with them he was younger than I and he and I now write back and forth. You are much loved and are very inspirational. thank you for sharing yourself with all of us.

  7. Of course God loves you, that you should never have any doubt. I’m confident he understands where you’re coming from and why you made the choices you did. Mose, I admire the work that you do to help the ex Amish. Without you, those kids would be lost. I really love the show and thanks for sharing your thoughts with us.

  8. Mose, there is something special about you. Maybe your true purpose in life is to help bridge the gap between the English and the Amish. I bought your friend’s book and look forward to reading it. Am I to understand you are writing one as well? Congratulations on your many accomplishments, and remember that you are valuable just as you are!

  9. found your show about 2 weeks ago enjoy it very muchi am not a ex Amish but was around old Quakers in my family my grandmother and grandpa took care of my Aunt she was a plain dress woman i remeber looking at her when she was in her chair thinking why was she wearing a little cap on her head you know how kids think. keep up the great work great show
    Dwayne

    1. A ‘plain’ Quaker friend in New York told me that if it weren’t for the Amish, he would have nothing to wear! He buys his clothes from that Amish-clothes place in Ohio.

  10. Mose you demonstrate so quietly how once one quits trying to be holy and let’s God do His work, you get holy. On a certain level we are all running away from something. I am a cradle Roman Catholic, but at this late stage in my life, I just decided to “let go and let God.” One simply gets tired of jumping through hoops. My wife and I were moved by your visit to OH and PA and wondered if you grew up there whether or not you might still be Amish? Well Amish or Ex-Amish God loves you when you do well and when you don’t.

  11. Mose, you are very loved by God. He led you to the truth. Hold tight to his word. Jesus loves me this I know, for the bible tells me so. We all go through trials and tribulations but rejoice for God loves you and these trials in life produce perseverance, and perserverence produces good character, and character produces hope. And that hope in our God will not disappoint us! God loves you and smiles down on you. I’ll keep you in my prayers!
    In Christ alone,
    Michelle

  12. Mose, thank you for sharing your story. Yes, God loves you as He loves us all. I don’t mean this to be demeaning, but the Amish do not have a lock on God. God Bless you, my brother. Carl Reasor

  13. Mose

    I am extremely and passionately touched by what you are doing. I live in Sparta, Wisconsin where we are surrounded on all sides by Amish Communtities. I have worked with various youth during my life time, in addition to having two young adult children. In my most humble opinion you are a modern day disciple. You are doing the Lord’s work by trying to provide the much needed support, guidance, love and nurturing that these kids so desperately need in all that they face by leaving the Order. My heart aches for thier innocence in facing all the trials and tribulations of life outside the order, the spoken and unspoken threat that they are destined to Hell for leaving the Order, the loss of their families, loved ones and the only support systems they have known all their lives. The temptations of this world are many. It is wrong for anyone to believe these kids are sentenced to Hell because they leave the Order. I am here to offer my services in any way you deem fit to put me to work to support your Cause Mose. I have my Associate’s Degree as a Paralegal, my Associate’s Degree as a Legal Secretary. my Bachelor’s Degree in Criminal Justice Administration and my Credentials of Ministry as an Ordained Minister. As such I have seen more then my fair share of honest to goodness criminals involved with drugs and crime. These young adults who choose to leave the Order do not deserve nor should they ever believe they are sentenced to Hell for leaving the Order. NO WHERE IS IT WRITTEN AS GODS WORD THAT YOU MUST REMAIN IN THE AMISH ORDER TO BE LOVED BY GOD OR TO GET TO HEAVEN!!! When I see their innocence and hear their soft spoken voices and gentle natures I cannot fathom how a parent can let thier own child be lead to believe that he or she will burn in hell or shun them. They need all the straight headed support and love we can give them. Anything you need Mose that I can help with – Please put me to work. I’ve sent you my contact details. For some time I’ve been feeling nagged knowing I can be doing more then I have been to do the work of God in my Life. Please put me to work. Yours in Christian Love and your Sister in Christ – Melanie

  14. We just watched your latest program tonight on trying to see your mother. It was good to see you with Joe Kiem and his Bible study. We appreciate the work that he is doing as well as your helping ex-Amish young men. We were glad you could see your brothers as well as hearing your desire to have a relationship with your mother. We are very grateful for the quality of the program. It should challenge all of us in our relationship to God the Father through Jesus Christ, His Son for salvation. May God bless you as you serve Him! Thank you!! — Proverbs 3:5,6

  15. Mose

    Just watched your latest episode tonight when you are getting ready to give your lecture. Mose – just be true to yourself and God. When u get nervous, when u get unsure, when they criticize u (and there will always be those that criticize, both Amish and English and in between) just be true to you and your God. At one point you said you felt this is the calling God has for you. IT MOST CERTAINLY IS! You are serving a much needed purpose. God needs you to do what only you can do Mose. You fit his purpose for you perfectly. You are fulfilling his need for you to do what you do here on Earth and for every one you do it for. God knows your heart. That matters. He knows your heart and your intent. You will stumble. You will fall. You will make mistakes. But most importantly – Get Back Up Again and forge ahead. If you arent sure, pray. God will guide you. I wish and pray for you the peace you are seeking. I cry for the loss of your family, your father’s passing and your Mother not accepting you for who you are. You can be the person who is a founding father of making big differences for ex-Amish, current Amish and English people. You can facilitate change, acceptance, and life changing attitudes and belief. Very few have done what you are doing. It is clear to me you are fulfilling God’s need for what you can do because of who you have been, who you are, and who you have yet to become. Keep up the good work Mose. You are fighting the good fight. I am here in Wisconsin amongst the Amish and English every day. I am here to tell you and anyone else that will listen – that you are indeed making a change by bringing public awareness to this situation. After your speech you said for that one young man to come up and thank you “it just felt so good.” Remember that feeling Mose because you are affecting many more then just that one young man. Many more. God Bless.

  16. Dear Mose,

    Just got done watching tonight’s episode of you trying to regain touch with you Mom. I was heartbroken for you, seeing your face on coming back to the car after your visit. I could tell immediately it did not work the way you had hoped. I’m so sorry that your Mom feels too confined by the rules of the church to welcome you home, even if only back into her heart. While I understand how much you want her in your life, I was so happy to see that you have brothers out in the world with you! I know how empty it feels to not have your family close to you, so please-please-please–take every opportunity you can to be with your brothers and have them be with you and your family. I so understand your need for community and family; nothing is more important than that.

    Your spiritual awakening is speaking right to me as well. A few years ago I felt re-born back into my own faith, having not participated in it for many years. And there is one thing that I am absolutely positive of: GOD LOVES YOU. Don’t ever think that He doesn’t, just because you left the Amish community. There is nowhere in the Bible that it says the only way to Heaven, or to receive God’s love, is to be Amish. Nonsense! Stuff made up by men. God loves all of us, and especially you. Do you know why? Because you are helping others. You are living a truly Christian life by the things you do in helping other Amish youth, the house repairs in Joplin, helping Michaela even though it makes you uncomfortable, being a loving husband and father, and a hundred other things that the camera doesn’t catch. There is absolutely a seat for you at the table of God. Keep doing what you’re doing; write to your mother like you planned even if she doesn’t write back; keep helping others; and continue to be the good man you are. I look forward to seeing more episodes and will keep visiting your blog. GREAT JOB!!
    Love, Carolyn

    1. I agree with Rotkopf. But it’s like your brother said, your mom is in a tough spot. Perhaps you can possess something of hers (since there’s probably no picture, unless you get a sketch artist to do one) — and just use that to talk to her and cultivate your love for her prayerfully. Clearly it is essential for her to be in right relationship with her community and it’s probably not for you to say whether that is just . . . it just is. Still, there is no reason why her soul and yours can’t communicate how much you care about her. Between the two of you, YOU are the one gifted with incredible imagination — find ways to send her your love, and find ways to fully acknowledge and then release, if you can, each of the hundreds of hurts this separation has put on you. One a week might be a noble goal.

      1. i don’t know. I think he should forget his mother & move on. She has 3 beautiful sons that are shunned by her. That is a very frightened soul. Also- she knows her husband abused mose. What kind of a woman does this? and does he, shana & their 3 adorable children need this in their lives??

  17. As I sit here, sipping my coffee and listening to the birds chirping nearby, waiting for my son to arise and get ready for school, I ask myself is there anything that I could possibly contribute to Mose. Do I have anything profound, at least as I see it, to help Mose on his journey. Perhaps not, but one never knows.

    Mose, the world truly needs more people like you!

    Christians are taught that Christ left us 1 commandment. In some form, it is “to love one another, as I have loved you.” Simple! But very hard to do. You seem to be right on track.

    Any divides in life are created by man, Christ always tried to bring people together.

    Keep up your passion for learning and taking care of those who have been sent to you. I look forward to learning more of your story and sincerely anticipate meeting you along the way.

  18. You’re becoming one of my personal heroes. I admire how good a listener you are, am fascinated by how much you’re simultaneously learning and teaching. Thanks for sharing your spirit quest. I respect your endeavor to become the best mentor you can. You fight the good fight. Thanks for sharing your story, wisdom, and energy.

  19. Mose- You are truely inspirational!! The work you do is amazing! After watching you on “Amish in the City” and all of the other documentaries that you’ve done, I began doing my own personal research on the Amish and ex-Amish. As a fellow Wisconsinite (some of my family actually live miles from the area you were raised), I have always been in awe of the Amish. After seeing your work with the ex-Amish, I am now in awe of all of you who have had the strength and courage to begin a new journey in the ‘English’ world. I am thrilled that you now have a new program that explores this in more detail. Keep up the good work:)

  20. Mose, I was so excited about the time you spent with Joe Keim and hope that you know that God’s love for you is so great. I hope you will continue to seek the Lord and His grace, not bein bound by mens laws but being free in God’s Spirit. Love the work you are doing and am prayin for you. Let me know what specific things we might keep in prayer for you and also for those you are working with. Would also love it if you could let us know the needs of the young people and if there might be a way we can help with those needs.

  21. I can’t believe you ran out of gas. That wasn’t staged was it? You talk about how the editing leaves out a lot, do the producers ever put you into contrivances that make you uncomfortable?

    1. I was a little suspicious of the running out of gas, but I did like what Moses got out of it… that he had got what he came to WI for and it didn’t necessarily have to be a full blown baptism – because then that is subscribing to one religion just like the Amish and so many others preach. His heart was touched by God, not religion. And I’ll bet he never runs out of gas again. :)

  22. Dear Mose ~ You can not get water out of an empty cistern…. and YOU can’t give out of your own emptiness. Taking the time to refill your soul/spirit during Episode 6 was/is obviously what you needed. I also appreciate that God isn’t preached so much as He is just assumed to be part of your everyday life, an Anchor and a Guide to your next step. You are a Wise Man and based on the comments above, it is obvious that you are not just helping ex-Amish, you are enlightening and clarifying the lives of many who already thought they either knew it all or had it all figured out!
    The one thing that makes me sad and, in truth, quite angry is the judgementalism, punishment and downright brainwashing of the strict Amish. GOD IS LOVE AND FORGIVENESS. They are not preaching or living that.
    Your heart is true, Mose, and that is all that matters.
    I am sorry you don’t have the relationship with your Mom that you want, but Please, let the love of God through all the Moms that watch this show and ache for you fill that space in your heart. Sorry this is so long!

  23. Mose,

    I really love the show Mose. I went to school in Wooster, Ohio thirty some years ago to become a beekeeper. I actually met with a roomful of Amish folks at a Holmes County Beekeepers Meeting one evening. They were really up on modern beekeeping and filled with good questions. It was a memorable night for me. On weekends, I would drive south into Holmes County and find myself back in the 19th Century. You know what I mean. Your trip to Lehman’s brought back fond memories of a beautiful part of our country. What you said about the Amish culture offering humility, honesty, hard work, etc.is very true and admirable. And those very things are what fascinates the rest of us (English) about Amish life. But can those things make us right with the Lord?

    I would encourage you to read Paul’s Letter To The Romans. Especially Romans 4 to understand how Abraham and David in the Old Testament were made right before the Lord. And then read the Letter To The Hebrews to understand Jesus, our Great High Priest.

    May the Lord Bless Your Soul,

    Titus 3:5

  24. Mose
    I just wanted to let you know that you are doing a wonderful thing in helping the ex-amish. As an ex-amish myself I know how great it is to have people around you that care (whether ex-amish or not) and want to help any way they can. I know I would not have come this far without their help.
    I was surprised to see Joe Keim on your show. His parents and one of his brothers live in the community that I left from so I was familiar with his name but have never met him.
    On the subject of religion, I know how hard and confusing it is to have grown up being brainwashed that you are going to hell if you do anything bad (which included a lot of things, not just leaving the amish) and then being in a world where people are telling you something completely different. It is hard to just switch over and start believing differently but if you take it one day at a time it does get easier to see how loving God is and that he will not let us down.
    Your show is very inspirational to me and many others. Keep up the good work and stay true to yourself.
    Ich winsch dich viel gutes.

  25. Dear Mose, you are absolutely loved by God. Please know that though you don’t know me, i’ll be praying for you. You are a precious man and I know how important that peace of mind is, and more importantly how important peace with God is! I’ll be writing you privately when i get a chance. God bless you!
    Rebecca

  26. Mose,
    Please know I am grateful for what you have done with your life!! Remember Jesus died for us all and we are all forgiven all we have to do is ask and!! Remember god is everywhere not in just church!!
    My dear friend John Garlock reported a story about Curtis Dierling and I thought I would share with you so no one gets misled!!

    KIRKSVILLE, MO. — It appears KTVO and our viewers were misled by a man we interviewed earlier this week.

    Since our story aired Tuesday, we have learned that a local man who had claimed to be ex-Amish is not ex-Amish afterall.

    As we had told you, Curtis Deierling of Kirksville appears in a couple of episodes of the National Geographic Channel’s series, “Amish: Out of Order.”

    During KTVO’s interview with Deierling on Tuesday, he told us he was a member of one of the two Amish groups in Greentop until he was 18 years old at which time he left the order to become a Mennonite.

    After our story aired, we started getting e-mails, phone calls and facebook messages from people who knew Deierling growing up.

    Three people told us they attended classes with him in the Kirksville Public Schools.

    Amish children don’t attend public schools. The Amish have their own schools.

    A former employee of the Kirksville Area Technical Center told us Deierling also attended there a few years ago, and he was neither Amish nor Mennonite at that time.

    We went to Greentop on Thursday with a picture of Deierling and talked to representatives from both Amish groups there.

    One group looked at the picture and said they had never seen him or heard of him.

    An Amish man from the other Greentop group, Jonas Schwartz, said he had worked with Deierling briefly and that Deierling had attended Amish church services one or two times, but he said that Deierling definitely was not Amish.

    When we confronted Deierling on the phone Thursday, he apologized and said that the whole thing had been a misunderstanding, and he claimed that he was just tired and nervous when our reporter interviewed him on Tuesday.

    Jennifer DeGuzman, a spokeswoman from the National Geographic Channel, told KTVO Thursday that Deierling told them he was a Mennonite.

    She said he is not a main, or even secondary, character in the “Amish: Out of Order” series.

    The second episode in which Deierling appears airs at 9 p.m. on May 22, 2012 on the National Geographic Channel.

    Click HERE for a link to KTVO’s original story with Deierling.

    Mary Catherine Ford

  27. We have really enjoyed each episode. They get better and better each week. The questions and concerns we had at first seem to get answered and addressed each week.

    It was nice to see our Berlin, Ohio on there. We couldn’t understand what your concerns were with tourism because we don’t really know “Amish Country” outside of that context. But it definitely does change how the Amish relate to the world around them. Basically, the lower Amish try to isolate themselves and minimize contact with “the world”. But that only works in communities where the primary lifestyle/occupation is farming. Here there just isn’t enough land for everyone to farm, so they do many other things – construction, furniture making, lumber, and you name it. That kind of business requires a lot of interaction with English people – locals and tourists. They maintain their Amish traditions in the home and church, but have to adapt to and use technology in their businesses.

    That change from farming to business presents the biggest threat to Amish life, and that threat is not just the interaction with the English or taking the men away from the home, but more so the issue of prosperity. Years ago a typical Amish man was a farmer who had some acreage, livestock, house, barn, out buildings, and equipment. All that stuff has value, but the money is all tied up in it. They wouldn’t ever have large amounts of money in hand until they sold out – usually to a son – and even then the money might come to them slowly over a period of many years. Now we have Amish business owners who are very, very wealthy with fat bank accounts. I don’t care who you are, substantial wealth changes a person – how they think and act.

    Our Amish neighbors have a very successful furniture finishing business. They have a couple of kids living in Montana. About twice a year, they fly 8-10 people round trip to Montana for visits. Why? Because they can afford to! If they didn’t have the money, it would limit their ability to travel, how many would travel, and the mode of transportation they would use. And that’s just one example of one area of their lives. I see the prosperity affecting their behaviors in many ways. It will be really interesting to see how the Amish try to maintain a plain and simple life when their people have the means to do things that bring them into conflict with traditional Amish values.

    Anyway Mose, you are doing a great job with these shows. What you are really doing is letting us peek into your life and spiritual journey. I know what we are seeing is a year old. I’m tempted to ask you to email me and tell me where you are today, but I don’t want to ruin it! We are certainly pulling for you to find the answers to the issues that trouble you because of your choice to leave the Amish. I think you were extremely close to finding a big part of the answers at Joe Keim’s Bible study. :)

    1. I thought Hallsy’s comments were really interesting. It’s interesting how money puts more options in front of the Amish, and they seem to be choosing more freedoms, like flying for transportation, and increasingly interacting with non-Amish.

  28. Mose
    I am sorry that things with your mother didn’t go so well. Writing the letters surely is the best thing to do at this time and hopefully you will receive a reply. I have to agree with the other comments. God so love his creation that he sent his only son to die for our sins so that we may again join him in heaven for eternal life. Surely if the man did not love you, he would not have given you the guidance to follow threw with the things you asked him for help with. Your sincere truthfulness and emotions about how your life is going is an inspration for other who find themselfs in difficult times in their life. Mose, keep doing what you are doing, as God is guiding you and you have become a inspiration for many.GOD BLESS YOU MOSE!!!!

  29. God loves you because you are Mose. His love is totally and completely unconditional. God does not see us by gender, age, culture, color, Amish or Ex-Amish. He sees us as he created us. You came from a strong cultural background with influential teaching and rules. To step away from it and seek answers to the unrest you felt took great courage. The pain you felt and still do, the rejection from friends and the withdrawal of affection from family – these are all things everyone can relate to or has experienced at some point in their life. While I am not Amish, I’m currently being shunned (rejected) by my sister. Family members are different from anyone else in the world to you – and it’s heartbreaking to not have relationship with them. Your show, while it is about your journey, is a very candid and honest dialogue about things that can be very difficult to share. However, we are not alone, God loves us each and every one. I believe he’s using you to not only help the ex-Amish kids, but many people watching the show.

  30. Dear Mose, beloved of God, After hearing the name Ira Wagler, then reading his book, I was heartbroken that any soul who loves the Lord can believe that he is not loved anymore just because he has left his parents and is finding his own truth. I am including him in my prayers, and you, too, and your mother. As a mother I can’t imagine the struggle and heartbreak she must be going through. I’m sure you pray for her, along with the letters. You’ve received such good advice in these blog notes ( I’m sure that’s not the correct terminology, but I am a great-grandma, so I’m not up on these things), but probably the most important is that God is Love. I continue to pray for all those ex-Amish to reach inside and realize that God has never left them, will never leave them.

  31. Mose – I just heard you say what your father did to you. I was a victim of abuse at the hands of my father and step father. You were a victim of abuse too. Your father was so wrong to do what he did to you. God can heal you Mose. Keep prayng to him. Please do not internalize it. Everything happens for a reason. God works in mysterious ways. What you have been through will make you that much stronger in doing God’s work. I pray for your inner turmoil and hurt for what you have been through. You will be a stronger witness to those who need you Mose. Give it to God. You are a child of God. Your Father did you wrong. Let your Heavenly Father love and heal what your Earthly father misused and abused. Any help you need Mose in any way I can give it please just let me know.

    In sisterly love

    Melanie B.

  32. Mose Please let me help you get some kind of counseling/assistance center going. I have had education in one-on-one and group counseling. I would love to see you doing God’s work in that area. You spoke of your upbringing not allowing you to use bible verse and passages as directives, I am here to tell you that the Bible is the good Book. The ultimate textbook. A perfect example being those of your upbrnging teaching there is only their way to get to Heaven, but the bible teaches the true way to get to heaven. The way to Heaven is set forth in the Bible. It is also set forth that those who mislead a child against the Lord and the Bible may as well tie a stone around thir necks and be cast into the waters. I apply that to even people of faith who mistakenly condemn the young adult Amish who chose to leave the faith when they tell the young adults they are doomed to hell if they leave the Order or do something considered to be against the Amish faith. I am sorry if that seems harsh but it seems harsh to me for any parent to condemn their own child to hell for leaving the order or having contact with the English. I hope you let me help you Mose in any way I can. I would like to see you get some sort of counseling set up for these kids & at the same time help to gather donated items to help them, such as clothing, food, and other necessities.

    God be with you Mose. Your on the right path.
    In sisterly love

    Melanie B.

  33. Mose, it makes me so sad to see you trying so hard to be right with God by trying to DO, DO, DO. Mose, it is already DONE!!! Jesus Christ died on the cross and shed His blood for us- for YOU!! There is nothing you need to do but believe that Jesus took your place and became your sacrifice for sin. Just do what the Bible says, “Look and live.” Look to the cross and see Jesus dying FOR YOU! He loved you that much! Just ask Him to save you from your sin. Leave your sin at the cross where he died for it. Then Jesus was buried and rose again , so He is your living Savior. He wants a relationship with you. It doesn’t depend on going to church or doing anything spiritual like that. He loves you for who you are, not for what you should be. We can’t work for salvation and we can’t keep our salvation by what we do. HE keeps us. It’s all about the Father and His son Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit who indwells us when we trust Christ as our Savior. Just give yourself to God!!! Only He can save and keep you and make you what he wants you to be. Please get an English Bible and read it and ask God to show himself to you and He will. God loves you with a love that you can’t even imagine. Look to Him. I am praying for you, Mose. I was where you were at one time, and God pursued me and changed my life. He is pursuing you also. God bless you, Mose.

    Diane F.

  34. Mose
    I am touched by your journey in life and that your helping these “kids” who are not to much younger than I. I wanted to tell you that your doing a fine job and that god loves you just as much as anyone,but I’m sure you knew that. I also love the show because your home isn’t to far from mine here in iowa. I’m glad I got to tell you and that it will actually get to you instead of writing it on a facebook page or some fan site. I pray for you often and I believe in you and all that you do for your fellow believer in christ our savior!
    Much love from centeral iowa
    Whitney

  35. Mose, watching you experience your journey of faith last night truly moved me. You and I come from very different backgrounds, but I found myself recalling similar episodes in my life. I was raised Catholic, was even in the convent for awhile. I ended up leaving the convent and the Catholic Church for many the same reasons you shared. I was amazed that I am saved because of God’s grace and love for me. Filled with grace I don’t have earn my way to heaven. My journey, difficult at times, has led me to a wonderful non-denominational Christian church where I continue to grow in my faith and relationship with Jesus. One thing I still struggle with is baptism by immersion. I believe one day I will take that step. Thank you so much for your willingness to share and lead with the grace of God. My prayers are with you and the others you are mentoring.
    Your sister in Christ,
    Vicki

  36. Hi Mose,

    I’ve been interested in the Amish way of life since I was in college (a LONG time ago!) I went to Villanova outside of Phila. and visited Lancaster a few times. It certainly has changed a lot since then.

    I have to say, I think what you are doing is really wonderful. Helping these young people adjust to, as you say, “to the English way of life.” It’s so difficult for all young people to adjust to becoming an adult, even with family support; I can’t begin to imagine what it is like for the ex-Amish to try to adjust without their family support.

    I was really impressed with how you helped Esther with her conflict about her acting audition. You are so young, yet so wise. You have truly found your calling. Your kids are lucky to have you…you are a gifted man…If I can help you in any way, please let me know. I always have told my kids, since they were young, if you are comfortable with what you are doing, or where you are, then you need to leave, because you probably shouldn’t be there. And it is okay to leave if you feel that way, no matter what others say…it takes courage to do something about what you believe in or what you feel is right….Most people don’t!

  37. Dearest Mose,
    I apologize first for being so wordy, because I know you read so many letters, emails and blogs as it is. But, I wake after watching your latest shows (for the second time around) with things on my heart to tell you. My heart aches for your mother. What torment and fear she lives under, believing that she’s failed in raising her children and not living up to what the elders demand. Surely, if you can’t be perfect in the eyes of ‘godly’ men no matter hard you try, how can you be good enough to be accepted by God?

    I am so glad that you have been writing letters to your mother, because I believe she needs you more than you need her. She’s in a prison of fear. I hope you have sent her a Bible already (the New King James version is an excellent one.) I was taken aback by your show when I learned that the only Bibles read when you were growing up were in high German. I think it might be Luther’s translation. Ironically, Martin Luther in the 1500s translated the Bible into the language of the German people precisely because the Catholic Church at the time forbade the people from reading Scripture in their own language. The official Bible then was the Latin Vulgate translation and it was considered a sin punishable by death to even possess it in any common language. It was much easier for the Catholic Church to stay in power and control of the people by keeping them in ignorance and fear.

    But, the Word of God is powerful, as Scripture says here: Isaiah 55:10-12 New King James Version (NKJV)

    10 “For as the rain comes down, and the snow from heaven,
    And do not return there,
    But water the earth,
    And make it bring forth and bud,
    That it may give seed to the sower
    And bread to the eater,
    11 So shall My word be that goes forth from My mouth;
    It shall not return to Me void,
    But it shall accomplish what I please,
    And it shall prosper in the thing for which I sent it.”

    God is at work in His Word, and He will work inside anyone who reads that Word. Good Bible teachers are great and helpful, but the Word is God Himself speaking to the reader. And, when God says it or promises it, you can bet your eternal life on it. One of the best things I ever did when my four children were young was to read to them at bedtime. We read the Bible from cover to cover, usually a chapter or two at a time… even the chapters with all the “begats.” They’re all grown now and I’m a grandmother with five wonderful grandsons.

    And, don’t forget to pray for your mother. When she finds forgiveness herself, she will mend the fences between you, because I know in my heart that she truly loves her children.

    Many Blessings to you and yours,
    Merry

    1. Merry,

      Doubtless your intentions are good, however,
      NKJV is, by FAR, THE most DIFFICULT to understand. King James ordered it translated in 1604. It was completed in 1611. Hardly the language we speak in 2012.

      I stopped listening to the zealous evangelists who preach that it is the ONLY true version. They sound too much like the Catholics.

      1. Dear Nancy,
        You didn’t read my comment very thoroughly. And you incorrectly assumed that just because I recommended a certain translation it meant that I think that version is the only true version. The New King James version is in modern English and is very easy to understand. I also like the New American Standard Bible. It is another well-done translation in my opinion. I do not use the Living Bible, because it is not a translation, it is a paraphrase. Ideally, but also very unrealistic, we should all be able to read and understand Hebrew, Aramaic and Koine Greek, the original languages the Bible was written in. As for the original King James version… only old fogies like me who grew up reading it and memorizing verses from it still appreciate it… but, even with that appreciation, I prefer the NEW King James! But, I do agree with you whole-heartedly… there is no such thing as just one “true” translation. Some are just better done than others.
        Blessings to you!

        1. Merry,

          Please forgive me for not “reading correctly” and “[incorrectly] assuming”.

          Your right, I’m wrong.

          Thanks for pointing that out.

          Be happy!

          1. No problem… I didn’t mean to sound so sharp. But, I know where you’re coming from and agree. Blessings to you!

  38. God cannot be contained by a set of rules. Being all powerful prohibits that type of thing. You are right to leave it up to Him. You are most definitely inspiring.

    In Catholic theology, God resides in His Word, and in His Assembly, the Church. We, the family of believers, are all part of that Assembly. Take our word for it Mose, you are doing exactly what He sent you to do.

    Sometimes, the hardest thing to do is listen to the heart and act on it. The nice thing is, God only speaks to the heart, so if you look in His Direction, He will speak.

    Keep up the good work. You are doing good things!

  39. Moses keep up the good work. you are loved by all of us. you have a undefinable innocence to you that we all crave.i can not even begin to explain it. Be assured your heavenly father loves you. As a christian we have the same loving father so that makes me your brother.

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